Bubuyog Talk 1: Stranger

One disturbed and uneasy night, i succumbed to my pen. I dilly dally wrote a very cheesy two linesfor a four verse poem. As i progressed, i realized it lacked the apathy i want it to bear. So i tore down the paper and reached for a new set of yellow pad when i accidentally read a poem i have written a year ago.

I browsed the poem. a very simple and enduring poem, i observed. Suddenly, my heart's rumbling to create a tune for that sincere poem.

I caught my guitar and plucked a few chords and the melody became clearer and clearer as i heard my heart sang.

I, of course corrected some lines to fit it for a song. I strummed my guitar the whole night and the lyrics and music lingered so much in my mind.

it was almost dawn when i gathered myself and surrendered to rest. I didn't realize i created something subconciously bothering me.

it was a tradition always, in my production of songs, if the tune remained in my head it was meant to be created. In the case of this unfinished song, it ruled me for a day.

So to stop the haunting, i went to kuya sherwin for help. We played around the arrangement. we started having its jazzy beat. At first i intended it to be just POP ballad, but as Kuya she discovered altering chords the song progressed and the final touch was --again-- Rock Ballad.
I like what he did. i love the guitar arrangement. It evolved into a sweet rock ballad. After recording it through an MP4. i got excited to let it be heard by everybody forgetting that the very inspiration of that song is present. Well, he will not give any damn about the song anyway. So i started sharing it with friends except him of course.

(This is the catch of this blog- But really i want to share the song with him. The problem is that i think he really is avoiding me. And i don't know the reason why. Anyway, this is just an opinion- not the truth. The song is resonating his name but he kept his ears locked and his heart freezed, frigid. For me, though it's a bit lonely, i accept it.. and maybe after this song.. my heart will again seek for letting go..)

In this bubuyog talk, i have to make a decision. While i am so guilty of being so transparent and very lost because of his presence, I am now relieving myself of self pity and condemnation. I am relieving myself of tension and pressure. I am relieving myself from this imagination. I will move on again. forgetting what has been laid upon me are just sheer and pure fantasy-- not tangible reality.

The flower is passive, never the active one in the pollination. The bee is always the one who comes near to the flower and while the flower painfully withers, it patiently wait for other bees to realize its worth and its beauty. It will patiently wait for that right bee to make it bloom again.
And when finally a stranger bee gets attracted to its petals, the petal will always be faithful and loyal to that bee; that it will always give the sweetest nectar it has for that one special bee......

But for now, the petals will have to sway with the wind to shrug off the intangibles....